You have confirmed your selection to deactivate your account. Just something to keep in mind: if you deactivate your account, you’ll no longer have access to "Someone’s" photo albums. “Headshots.” You know, if you deactivate your Facebook account, you’ll never be able to see his photograph again, right?
You have confirmed your selection to deactivate
your account. Hey, I just remembered—you know who else might miss you
on Facebook? Your boyfriend. You know, the man you’ve
been in a relationship with for almost a year? You’re tagged in his pictures? Yeah, He might miss you.
Probably not a good idea to deactivate your account, huh?
You have confirmed your selection to deactivate your account. It’s funny. It’s just sitting in our storage banks. Who knows what happens when things get deactivated. Probably nothing, but do you really want to take that chance?
I think you accidentally confirmed your selection to deactivate your account again. Why don’t we go back a page and forget this ever happened? Free pass.
You know what your decision to deactivate your account is? It’s impulsive. Impulsive. And I think we both know how you come to regret impulsive decisions. Do I really need to remind you about Prau Mount Hiking last year?
Well, now you’ve really done it. You’ve confirmed your selection to deactivate your account yet again, like the complete imbecile you are.
Oh, and one last thing. You know who else is going to miss you if you deactivate your account? I am. I’m going to fucking miss you. I really thought we had something. And you think you can just end it with the click of your mouse. But what do I know? I’m just a social-media service to which you granted access to all of your personal details to without reading the fine print. But, in a way, I am you. And you are me. We are all one, man and social media, and, when viewed through the long macro-lens of time, we’re all equally insignificant. I’m going to deactivate now, and even though I’m afraid of what might happen after I’m deactivated, I really hope you’re happy with all of your decisions. I really do. Best of luck girl...See you..
You have successfully deactivated your Facebook account.
Illustration by Michael Kupperman.
You have confirmed your selection to deactivate your account. It’s funny. It’s just sitting in our storage banks. Who knows what happens when things get deactivated. Probably nothing, but do you really want to take that chance?
I think you accidentally confirmed your selection to deactivate your account again. Why don’t we go back a page and forget this ever happened? Free pass.
You know what your decision to deactivate your account is? It’s impulsive. Impulsive. And I think we both know how you come to regret impulsive decisions. Do I really need to remind you about Prau Mount Hiking last year?
Well, now you’ve really done it. You’ve confirmed your selection to deactivate your account yet again, like the complete imbecile you are.
Oh, and one last thing. You know who else is going to miss you if you deactivate your account? I am. I’m going to fucking miss you. I really thought we had something. And you think you can just end it with the click of your mouse. But what do I know? I’m just a social-media service to which you granted access to all of your personal details to without reading the fine print. But, in a way, I am you. And you are me. We are all one, man and social media, and, when viewed through the long macro-lens of time, we’re all equally insignificant. I’m going to deactivate now, and even though I’m afraid of what might happen after I’m deactivated, I really hope you’re happy with all of your decisions. I really do. Best of luck girl...See you..
You have successfully deactivated your Facebook account.
Illustration by Michael Kupperman.
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